I don’t know what prompted me to write this blog, since I haven’t wrote in a good time.

But it sort of feels right today. Plus maybe this won’t even make it to the blog site and instead become just another word file clogging up my computer…

Anyway…

I think some people just have more drive than others. I find this hard, I find it hard to motivate others, book shows, write blogs, spend endless hours following leads for music festivals or competitions you have to dodge paying rent in order to enter an albums worth of songs. Or sweet talking venues to let you play 11pm on a Tuesday evening to your family, and girlfriends of the band. To be honest, I find it consuming enough to try and write something I don’t think sucks.

But what do you do? You can’t stop. You can’t stop trying every avenue that might hold hope of exposure for your songs.

I know I am getting older and I never thought I would be this age, it just seemed so far away. “Hey, didn’t all the best rock stars die before age 27?” But it is making me view things in a different way.

I was going through some old songs last night, amazingly I wasn’t totally horrified by what I was hearing, some of it was not half bad and I was listening with new ears. So I spent most of the evening trying to remember chord progressions and lyrics to these songs. I briefly enter the euphoria of naivety and the pure love of writing and it was great. But it’s like any high, there is always a low and the low was knowing I can’t get that time back.

So does that motivate me, does that make me say “Well then I can’t waste more time”?

Well yes and no….. Yes because I don’t want to look back in 20 years and feel even more like I wasted time and having less of a chance to make something of myself.

And no, because I am still not sure what I could have done differently and what would make all the difference now. “Ah, a time machine and the early days of you tube”

So I continue with, motivational spurts and slows. What else can you do?